Why am I shocked?

We don't care about the welfare of workers in China who make sneakers.

'I don't give a fuck, I'm gettin' me some Jordans'


So why am I shocked that some people in New Orleans would use their able bodied energy to loot the Foot Action store, instead of helping their fellow man.

'I don't give a fuck, I'm gettin' me some Jordans'


I foolishly expect to see a moral compass...what a dumbass.

I'm such a candy ass slack mother fucker

there that feels better..only just

Hey looters

is that the best you can do? People are dying, and you are at Foot Action?

nice


I know you can read this cause you stole a laptop

my pen leaked

Typical first week luck, black ink all over.

Call me Gareth.

These anti-DWI rap commercials are shite. 'kids love rap, let's get some stiff to lamly rap on our PSA, that's keeping it real yo'

Day two

I know how to use the urinal, the fax machine, and the water cooler. I'm so the mack.

Being the new guy is sucky, you don't know anything, and you have no idea where, if at all, you fit into the established social strata. It doesn't help that I'm really quiet in a new situation. So I'm sure they think 'man, that new guy is a real tool, he don't say shit do he?

Maybe tomorrow the MRP system will make sense, but I wouldn't bet on it.

My routine is upside down, and I hope to soon adjust.

Fill out the form

'this is the receipt for your husband, and this is my receipt for your receipt'-Brazil

Only buying a house requires more signatures, than a corporate new hire must bust out. Hell even the drug test had three forms, not counting the one I had to take over there.

the new guy

3 hours in, and so far so good. Mostly paperwork, and going for a drug test (you gotta watch me at all times)

This week is mostly training and sitting in with sales.

So far I like it, pretty organized, and upbeat.

And eating lunch at home is nice

CVS

I don't like CVS..yeah I said it...sorry just don't

They bought Eckard, and when you walk in to a CVS, it looks like Eckard, and smells like Eckard. I wasnot a huge Eckard guy, and I'd hoped CVS would have their own identity.

Yes, as a matter of fact I will get a life. Thanks

Stranger danger

I have a tremendous capacity for anonymity. I've gone to the same gym for 18 months, and I see the same faces over and over, yet I know not one name, and they don't know mine. If I dropped dead, they would say 'hey that tall guy dropped dead' or more likely 'who?


It's my own fault for not being a roided out type, or not being the 'notice me' type. Perhaps it's cause I'm not one of those people who brings three friends everything either.

I get in, and get out. No time for chit chat or small talk.

three years and one day ago

I was laid off from a company that was going out of business. Today was my final day at FDI, and I put my same old radio in a box and drove down some of the same roads. This time it's by choice, this time it's without fear, this time will be better.

or not

the cove

There was a girl I loved, or at least I thought I did, across the cove. She lived here at the lake, and we were mere tourists staying in a cabin just across the way. She would water ski without a care in the world, never noticing me. Even now, I can see her in the water with her life vest on, like it was yesterday. The lush greenery of the Ozarks in the background, her eyes focused and fearless. I wondered what her life was like, did she live here year round? where did she go to school, was this there summer home, was her father rich and powerful? She was more beautiful than the sunset that summer, and our week ended too soon. I would never get close enough to speak to her, and it's just as well since I would be way too shy.

Our week was up, and another 14 year old would be in tomorrow, and he would probably have a crush on her as well. I took comfort in the knowledge that she wouldn't notice him either. I dreamed of her on occasion for years, I guess it was my first crush.

Taken

I roll up and there is some other car in my spot.


I'm a ghost

Labyrinth part two

Last night I go to pick up my prescriptions, and the pharmacy informs me that Drug # 1 is a $50.00 copay, and Drug #2 is not covered and will cost over $100. They suggest I call my provider, and ask what alternates are covered.


I call United Healthcare and deal with the auto attendant.

'Just say what you want to do, for example benefits overview, or deductible status'
'Prescription drug coverage' I say
'I'm sorry I didn't understand that'
'prescription drug coverage' I shout
hold on while I get you to an operator, please enter your group or subscriber number

'Hello this is _____ may I have your group or subscriber number please?

'I just typed it in'- I say knowing full well it doesn't matter, but this is a pet peeve
I end up giving the number anyway
'How may I help you?
'I need to find out what alternate drugs are covered'
'Okay sir you will need to contact Medco directly'
It's actually this same phone number but a different option, I can give you the direct number if you like'
'Uh yes please, I guess I'm too stupid to figure it out'


I call Medco;

'Please enter your subscriber or group number'
Once the number is entered I proceed saying 'prescription drug coverage! again but no luck

on comes the operator
'Sir may I have your subscriber number or group number please'

Finally I found out some similar drugs that are covered, and I call my doc for a different prescription.


I find this disturbing, my doc wants me to be on brand X, but due to insurance reasons I will go on brand Y. If brand Y turns out to be another Vioxx, I will go after them, you can be sure.

Emotions in motion

I've already melted down, and it's only 9:30.


Now you see why I want to slip out unnoticed? This shit's embarrassing.

Never be the same

I haven't worked with many people I can relate to as well as I do Mando. We have had a similar and unstable view on things. It takes a special person to put up with my mood swings, and who knows how to pull me out of a nosedive. Someone who knows instinctively which emails to forward, and which ones are not worth it. Someone who makes good Netflix recommendations, and can make me laugh everyday.

I know for a fact my new job has no chance on of competing on this level.

I hope we keep in touch (something I'm terrible about doing)

I'll miss you man.

blue toofe

I love my blue tooth! Yes it makes me look like a dickhead with this thing in my ear, but I wasn't looking that cool anyway.

I'm not one of those guys who will walk around Target talking real loud like a bigshot. In fact my blue tooth has made me far more considerate. I'm not on it that much, and when my phone rings no one but me hears it.

Knock knock

Meg's Darkness quote reminds me of a joke

knock knock
who's there
the Darkness
the Darkness who?
that's showbiz

I did like the Darkness record, but I still think this is funny.

Parting should be painless

I hate the last day at a company as much as the first. I guess you could sum it up in one word

Awkward

I hate long goodbyes. I'm not dying or even leaving town. This isn't to say I will be coming around, I never come around places I used to work, that makes me feel creepy. But there are some people here I will stay in touch with and hopefully see around. My desire on the last day is always to slip out unnoticed, and as early as possible. Maybe send out the 'I'll miss you guys' email to all employees, well most all.


If I tell each person goodbye in person I should've started Monday.

Carb craze

I guess we're finally over the carb craze eh?

I saw a lot of low carb items on clearance at the Kroger during lunch. I also noticed some fetching polo style shirts worn by the employees. (read Barely Legal link at right for some funny working at Kroger stories)

Catch a pearl and ride a dragon's wings

There are some silly songs in my Ipod....just sayin'

Champion's league draw (eff Chelsea)

Group A
Bayern Munich
Juventus
Club Brugge
Rapid Vienna

Group B
Arsenal
Ajax
Sparta Prague
FC Thun

Group C
Barcelona
Panathinaikos
Werder Bremen
Udinese

Group D
Manchester United
Villarreal
Lille
Benfica

Group E
Milan
PSV Eindhoven
Schalke
Fenerbahce

Group F
Real Madrid
Lyon
Olympiakos
Rosenborg

Group G
Liverpool
Chelsea
Anderlecht
Real Betis

Group H
Internazionale
Porto
Rangers
Artmedia Bratislava

Don't know that dude, but nice view 

'hey lady you got the love I need' 

I miss Austin

Not Austin as it is now, but how it was then.

When I first arrived in Austin, a bunch of us went up to Mt. Bonnell after hours. There way a guy playing an acoustic guitar 'over the hills and far away' to be exact, and it sounded good. The view was nice the air was cool, and all felt right in the world. Austin to me still had that small town laid back vibe, the vibe that held on south of the river longer than in the north. There wasn't so much traffic, things were cheap enough to live on a small income, and it was just naturally cool.

Funny thing though, the old timers would say it ain't like it used to be even then, so I guess it's all relative.

You should love the place you live. Me and Dallas are steady, but I wouldn't say we've fallen in love yet.

I think I'm gonna move to Ojai and open a curio shop. One that smells of incense, and plays Workingman's dead all day. Like I have anything better to do? 

Sorry we're closed

Didn't this party say something during the debates about being the party that supports the military?

I guess by support they mean searching for phantom WMDs instead of Osama, under-equipped vehicles in Iraq, and back home? base closures.


Oh wait maybe by support they meant magnetic ribbons.


Of course I may just be bitter.

Gibbons

'We used to have a lot of things in common, but now we're just the same'-Wilco


I've been living the last few days like Peter Gibbons, or Bill Murray in Groundhog day.'

Today I waltzed in at 9, now mind you my official arrival time is supposed to be 7:30, I'll take a 2 hour lunch and leave around 4.


I have been working in between times however, gathering information my boss will need, and tying up loose ends. So I don't totally suck.


After a summer with very few releases of note, the music is coming fast and furious here all of a sudden.

BRMC
New Pornographers
Supergrass
Super Furry Animals
Goldfrapp

I need to get my ears working.

Artist of the day the Heptones 

Internet wreckage

Is there a term for abandoned web sites? You know the sites that were updated three times a day until a point and then stopped cold. But as you do a search you sometimes stumble upon these ghost towns where someone just abruptly stopped doing any entries in the Donny Most fanclub site or whatever.

There is something sad about these sites, what are they called?

One day this blog will become one as well.

Real cute

Hurricane Katrina...yeah that's nice, Katrina and the waves...we get it.

Maiden Cali

Iron Maiden were pelted with eggs and garbage at a show in San Bernardino CA. No word on whether or not lard! was shouted during the melee.


John Clarke where did you say you went on vacation again?

Butterfiles an zebras, and moonbeams, fairy tales

I almost named this blog that, but it had too much of a unicorny vibe. Know what it's from?


We went to lunch with Dr.Evil, but I've determined that his laugh is more like Sesame Street's the Count. ha ha ha

The conversation was on gas prices and mileage, in the us vs. Europe, and metric conversions. Somehow I think our usual subjects would be more fun.

Body snatchers

At some point, and I'm not sure when, my boss became one of them. We used to be on the same page a lot more than we are nowadays. I understand that he must play the game, and he's planning on staying here and all that, but somewhere along the way we stopped connecting. It used to be us against them, and lately it's changed. I don't think he's threatened by me, he's been here longer and has a lot of knowledge, and in truth I've always had his back. I've often thought that if he were to leave I would not want his position, so that can't be it. It's more like he's started buying into some of this stuff that we all know is bullshit. I still like the guy, and I'm sure I'll like him better after I leave.


Good time to go I guess.

Quick survey

How early do you think I can get away with leaving on Friday? Right after lunch too soon?

afterburn

And here lies a pretty state again
It's time to make a move on
Cos in three days I'll be out of here
And it's not a day too soon -Supergrass


In Sweden they typically give three months notice if they leave a job, can you imagine being a lame duck for that long? I can barely handle the two weeks. Some people avoid you once you've given notice, and others embrace you...it's really odd.


The Bond films are really deteriorating now, it's easy to blame Roger Moore, but there are a lot of things that are bad about those films that have nothing to do with the actor.

There are certain things that happen in nearly all Bond films;

love interest
an attempt is made on his life
he has a face to face either over a meal or cards
he gets double crossed
there is a race against time
when you think it's all over, there is another last ditch attempt made on his life

Artist of the day Amy Winehouse 

They're smiling in your face

So more than one person has said 'man, I don't blame you this should be a team up here, not the way they are doing you'

These are people who don't know the details at all, so I'm wondering what they are talking about. I guess I've been getting stabbed in the back more than I thought.

It's kind of a Curb moment, like they think I'm leaving for very different reasons than I am.


It's strange, I never suspected any of my teammates of back stabbing, maybe I should've..


Whatever..does it matter now?

And you thought chalk was chalky 

Post target market

That previous post was pretty much aimed at one person. Others will wonder WTF? or not care.

Wulf struggles with the news that Chuckles are no longer made, and the Zendik's fund raising will likely suffer. 

Shout out

Our blogger buddy, and resident musical tastemaker Megan has done some reviews for the Crutch.net (link at right)

Megan also has a music blog going which is worth checking out (link at right)

She's way ahead of the curve, and has great taste. In fact I owe several quality music purchases to her recommendations.

Check em out!

Chuckles effin A! 

Please join me in communion with the reverend Moon 

You don't like Chuckles? 

Blade

So I'm a member of Columbia House DVD club (yeah I know) it seems I joined in an effort to get a good friend a free Ipod or someshit. Anyway I always decline the auto-shipment, but I must've missed one, cause here comes Blade trinity. Now I'm not a movie snob, no really I'm not, I love lot's of cornball movies, and comic booky movies, but I've never watched the Blade series, and I don't think I should start with number three. And what's worse, they charged my card $28.08! dayum!

So I returned it, and today I got a scolding email from them stating that if I didn't want the director's selection I could just decline it and all of this could be avoided. Yeah I know didn't you see that I've turned them all down up to now?

This post has no point.

I love you

Chuckles

Once my aunt took me to a grocery store in Kansas city that looked like a big barn, in fact it may have been called 'big barn' or something like that. Anyway the only thing I remember is being approached by solicitors in the parking lot.

'would you like to buy some Chuckles to support the reverend Moon's church?
'no thank you' said my aunt in a tone that implied something was wrong
' don't you like Chuckles? said the man looking at me for help
Before I could answer my aunt said 'No, I don't like moonies!

Later I would hear the word brainwash for the first time, and it gave me the creeps since I imagined a literal washing of one's brain.

Esa de rojo!

Spanish language radio stations do quite well in this market, and now it is announced there will be a Mexican Oldies station starting on Thursday. I hope they play 'La Negra' and I'm in.

Laura Cantrell. Did you know she was once a VP with Bank of America, but left to be a musician. Makes ya think don't it? 

yes

The best part about the Yes men movie, is they got Bush to say 'there should be limits to free speech'


Funny

Charge

When is operation Turkmenistan freedom to start?

Do unto others

Pat Robertson has called for a hit on Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez?!?!

delicious, you can't make this stuff up.

Artist of the day the New Pornographers 

Sorriness

DISD, and the Dallas City Council make me glad I'm not a Dallas proper resident.

I need to work for a pharmaceutical co.

Experts say $30 billion in lawsuits won't kill Merck, but it is a setback.

$30 billion will sink most ships I've sailed on, so maybe it's time to move up to the bigs.


Besides I could become a whistle blower at some point it seems.

AZ

The Arizona Cardinals release 9 players, NFL experts call it a good start

Into the labyrinth

'I want your hair color' said the nurse
'I don't even have my hair color' I replied

Once again I entered the labyrinth of healthcare this morning. We spend over a trillion on healthcare in this country and it's still a total train wreck.

I arrive at 8:00 for my 8:30 appt (goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes, the reality is that I must fast, and therefore I try to expedite the process in the name of food) and I see that the guy who signed the ledger in front of me also arrived at 8, but his appt was set for 7:45...nice. This is why we sit in waiting rooms for hours, because the very first guy out of the gate shows up 15 minutes late, and it's all down hill from there.

I go in for my 'annual' visit, only to find that they last saw me in Jan...WTF? I need to keep better records, I was cheated out of 4 months. Next year I refuse to go in for an oil change before 8-1-06.

My insurance has changed, what a shock, my co-pay has changed what a shock, they have to send me out to another lab because my insurance is too cheap to let them do it in house...another shock.


Went to Quest, and there were no issues.

635 is still a parking lot at 9:20 A.M. is Rush hour a misnomer or what?

Arrive at work just in time for the meeting, which I skip.


Today's dilemma;

I have three vacation days left, and our corporate policy says they don't pay them out when you leave. So I may need to take the rest of this week off, just on principal. I am waiting for the official response from HR.

Bond

I've been watching all the Bond movies on AMC this month, and I was wondering what the best theme Bond theme is?

I like the John Berry string arrangement of 'You only live twice, the Carly Simon Spy who loved me is a good one, Live and let die?

What's the best one? I'm assuming it's not Sheena Easton.

Suicide straight

At lunch I saw an older gentleman take his cup to the fountain and proceed to make what we used to call a suicide.


No ice
Diet coke
Dr Pepper
Cherry Coke
Sprite

Mostly Diet coke, but he clearly put all of the above in the cup.

I so wanted to ask him about it, but then I remembered how much I hate talking to people.

Case of the Mondays

I took Airport freeway to lunch, where there were not one but two vehicles on fire. There was a car completly engulfed in flames, and up ahead about half a mile was an 18 wheeler, that was burned up.

So I guess it could be worse.


Oh and nothing like spending $60.55!!! at the pump to remind me why I took a job close to the house.

Wouldn't you know it

My last week, and we have the head of procurement here from Sweden. I only se this guy like once a year..nice timing. He's always laughing really loud down the hall, sounding like Dr. Evil.

Got to give it up

I think I need to turn my back on booze. For the same reason I kicked caffeine, I think I should punt alcohol. I'm prone to big mood swings, and I think these substances contribute to them. I'm in a real funk today, and I think it's worsened by the two (okay three) pints I had after the match last night.

I've punted nicotine, and caffeine for similar reasons, so is it time for the drink to walk also?

I'm thinking yeah.

Comment card

I now get an email if you comment, so I will no longer ignore them....I promise.

Artist of the day Issa Bagyogo 

Monday

I didn't do much this weekend, as I was sick for most of it. Hint don't let your first action in two days be a soccer game in 100+ heat, not a good move.

Ikea is so stylish, but why is their building such an eyesore? It's like a big blue bruise on the landscape, and it makes the American big boxes not look so bad.

Sleep update, Last Tango in Paris doesn't work as a knock out pill, it's too shitty, and Groundhog day doesn't work cause it's too good. I'm thinking of getting one of those white noise machines.

I thought it was an easy TV quiz

I guess it helps to be old

Eastern Europe

So our Eastern European sales people are going to miss their goal by $3 mil, and who do they want to make up the gap????

Yep little ol us..shock horror!


I'm glad this is my former company, this shit gets old.

Don't you hate it when

You arrive at work and realize that you are wearing pants you thought were retired? I'd swear these pants were already Goodwill bound. They served me well, but there days are done.

Artist of the day is Charles Mingus 

Karate kicks during the drum fills

Was Suspicious minds a high water mark for Elvis? It's hard to think of a better one.

There's a great live version on the new Oxford American sampler. If you like that time capsule vibe half as much as I do, you will like the fact that it's from a live show after the recording sessions, but prior to the song's release.


Like all compilations of this type, it's a bit uneven, but in a time when nearly every magazine I read comes with a CD each month, the annual Oxford CD seems to be the most interesting.


A couple other songs of note include a terrific Al Green song, why wait for Tarintino to use it in a film, it's cool now.


And a Lightnin' Hopkins song so hot, it makes you want to go down to Crockett, take out your hanky and fan the statue.


If none of these move you, get yourself checked.

Almost forgot myself

I hate packing up my office, it's like everything that seemed so critical for the last few years, is now nothing. It's a strange sensation.

Almost forgot myself by the Doves is a nice tune.

30 years since the oil embargo

What have we learned?


Not much it seems.

Artist of the day Elmore James 

acme 

When I was a kid I had Ziggy wallpaper...no wonder..... 

Batting 1000

100% of the time I came into contact with Omni magazine, I wished it had been Penthouse.

Lunch observations

How many good writers can't get a deal while Pam Anderson has a book out?
Does anyone really give a shit if something is in the Guinness book of world records or not?
I always like to pick up the Oxford American music issue.
Happiness is a new Moleskine.


Damn the Irving mall is full of faux gangstas. Why is being stupid so fashionable? Everyone acts really stupid, at least I hope it's an act.

I don't wanna

be here today.

I would like to go home and watch little brittan on dvd. I'm ready to go home and watch the US mens team in World cup qualifying.

Now that I've given my notice, I feel a weight is lifted.

Artist of the day Bebel Gilberto 

Get a life

Number of text messages I've sent and received in the last month? 380

I simply must get out more.

Call me Jack Tatum

In the scrimmage on Sunday I had a particularly bad challenge. I made a lunge for the ball and caught the guy right on the back of the ankle. This was a late, and in truth a bit clumsy challenge. I immediately apologized, and attempted to offer my hand to help him up. That's when it starts, he starts screaming and yelling like he'd been shot, and starts berating me for the challenge etc. Two of his teammates get between us, and assure me that the best thing to do is leave him be. His response had me worried that he was really hurt, and that we might need to call an ambulance. Five minutes later he's back and playing at full speed. Well that didn't stop me from feeling bad about it, I'm not a dirty player, and it was a bothering me that he thought it was somehow intentional.

Tuesday rolls around and I don't even want to go to practice, because I'm in a funk about this. Now it's important to note the team we scrimmaged is in our same group of teams, so we all practice together (all the more reason I wouldn't intentionally foul a guy who is essentially on my team) So I didn't want to go out there on Tuesday and have all this tension.

If you know me, then you know my brain gets stuck on replay really bad.

So the only way I felt I could get over it was to go face it. So I went and had a good practice, no fouls, and scored two off my head, and one off my left foot.

The dude wasn't even there, and the consensus was he acted like a right twat.


So tonight my brain can turn it off, at least I hope, and return to worrying about all the other stuff once again.

Artist of the day Bonga 

Summer school starring Mark Harmon

One semester in 9th grade, I was such a jerkoff that I had to take a summer semester to get my act together. OMG what a timewaste this 'class' was. It was a five hour detention, and little more. It certainly served one purpose, and that's making me shape up the following year, but I can't say that we really learned anything in the class. It was like kiddie prison, and Breakfast club was still a few years away, so we had no model upon which to base our thoeries that it was all bs.

Scanner blackmail time

I did some major house cleaning yesterday, and found a couple of pics that were most amusing.

Pic 1 me and John_Clarke drinking 40 oz. beers, in John's defense his is only a regular Schlitz, while mine is the actual Schlitz malt liquor bull.

Pic number 2 stars Tara and myself involved in cigar smoking.

One day this blog will be filled with funny/embarrassing pics of fellow bloggers.

Sleeper's awake

When I can't sleep (increasingly more often) I can't turn my brain off. Mostly the worry mechanism is working overtime. I can't turn it off, and I don't want to take a pill. People say to try counting backwards etc, but I worry in between digits, and If I try not to think of a certain issue it's there even louder. (often called the ironic process theory)


Once there was a guy who worked in maintenance here, who had a hidden little room with a hammock, it was found and he was fired. I could use s secret hammock about now.

$ 2.59

I can't beleive I paid $2.59 a gallon. Time to go hybrid, or work 2 miles from home. I give notice today officially...which is a good thing I think.

I'm back

After a day of kid watching (fever) and playing with my bluetooth, I'm back at work.


Now, where is my desk, oh under all this crap....

Congratulations on finding out about your penis Robbie! 

The Solid Gold dancers were x rated. I still get an erection when I hear private eyes. 

whatcha waitin' whatcha waitin' for... 

And now they have stockpiles of WMDs. Yessiree bob, no doubt about it. 

You can have it your way, how do you want it You gon' back that thing up or should i push up on it
 

'is the all nude cover too much? 'no man it's the 70's now, and people aren't so uptight